Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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