giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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