my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Randomize