Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
