i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
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