Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I just want to make out with him forever
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
