i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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