Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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