It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
