if you like me you must not know who I am
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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