At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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