How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
