Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
