well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
