can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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