i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
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