Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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