i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
