he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
