What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
