My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
