I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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