Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Randomize
