Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
