I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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