apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
