how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
