i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
