He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
