jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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