The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
