I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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