Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
