Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Please don't give away my fajitas
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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