At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Randomize
