normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
