apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
