Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
