wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
