She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
