Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
