My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
