He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
