the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
All the doctor said was why
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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