It's like a parade of train wrecks.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I FOUND THE LEGS
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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