umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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