No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
