Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
