Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
