wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
