I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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