Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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