i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
