It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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