Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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