fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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