how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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