I just saw a hot homeless man
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
