No awkward lesbian experiences without me
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
