What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
