Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
