I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
