she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
