he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize