I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
