How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I need water and some morals
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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