He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
