Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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