in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize