If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Randomize
